be careful what you wish for, it might come true

Maia is so smart. and she is my baby. Even though she is not the youngest, she is very much my baby. and I dont want to send her to school. She loves to work on schoolwork and do lapbooks. and I dont think the new kids are going to get much out of public school when they arent yet fully speaking the language. My big kids go to high school and refuse to homeschool anymore. thats fine. but I dont want to send my littles to school. Ethan is there and seems to thrive and he doesnt want to come home either. isnt this what I wished for? to send them to school? be careful what you wish for! I dont want to send Maia to school. I would have a hard time pulling Ethan out but I miss thee carefree days we used to have. things like camping memorial day weekend. The band HAS to play at a local cemetary on memorial day. required. my objection to that is another story. but they have school still on thursday friday before and then have to play on monday. Eric is on call saturday. so we cant even go camping. we can go down and swim for the day on sunday. thats it. remember when we could go on Thurs and stay till tues. and love every minute of it. soon it will be summer break and we wont have all that scheduling but I just truly can not stand the thought of sending my dear sweet loving lap sitting dreamy dancerella to school. my husband doesnt understand. Maybe I will work on schooling everyone this summer once I get home with the girls to show him I can do it. but still we would be bound by the high schoolers schedules. grr. why cant I enjoy life with my kids? arent they MY kids? why do I have to send them to someone else 270 days a year? why do I only get the leftover exhausted from school with homework to do and mouthy remarks they learned? This does not make me feel like a good Mom.